Anyhow...
The other day I watched:
This is by far the worst of the Matrix sequels. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was way better, and so was this ...
See, this movie even has the balls to say "FORGET 'THE MATRIX'!" - IN ALL CAPS!
Also a good Matrix sequel was Ultraviolet with my honey Mila, if you can handle the Lisa Frank color scheme.
However, by far the best sequel to The Matrix is House of Fury.
Abso-frakin-mazing! Everything a great slo-mo action kung-fu movie should be. Sibling fights to the death at the dinner table over the last piece of chicken! Sibling fights to the death over remote controls! Just like a real family. I suppose. And it's from the action director of Kung-fu Hustle! It says so on the box. Now, read that carefully. The action director of Kung-fu Hustle. Not the director. That's like saying, "Featuring the same catering service used on Speed 2: Cruise Control!"
Which brings me back to The Matrix Reloaded. This movie is a lot like Herpes or the Stomach Flu. It's better the second time around - but not by much. I was impressed they pulled out all the stops for this one and rotated the camera the opposite direction during jump kicks sometimes. Sure, I love techno orgy/raves as much as the next guy, but not even Keanu Reeves bum and Carrie-Ann Moss's boob plug-ins could save this pile.
So I rate the Matrix movies as follows:
The Matrix - AWESOME!
The Matrix Reloaded - Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!
The Matrix Resomething - Pudding! Hey at least its over maybe and it's better than The Passion of the Christ!
House of Fury - Fantabulous!
Equilibrium - 4 Sean Bean's up...WAY UP!
Ultraviolet - A brand-spankin new Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper!
Next up, Semi-pro...
Does this look funny too you? Does it? WELL, DOES IT?!
Because it's about as funny as a bear attack. Which incidentally actually happened the other day involving the actual bear used in the movie. Apparently, the bear hated the movie so much he killed his trainer. Really. This movie isn't an epic fail necessarily, just incredibly lame. Sure, there was some laughs. At least 3. I counted.
I give it an 11. On a scale of One Million.
1 comment:
I thought you saw Juno with Crystal like AGES ago!?!? Anyway -- House of Fury is the only one I'm remotely interested in because of the action director of Kung-Fu Hustle...Erick still wants to see semi-pro because he has a man-crush on Will Ferrell -- I can't think of any other reason why he would want to see it.
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