Professor Boll and His Nazi Gold

So I'm sure you all know who Uwe Boll is. "Only the greatest motion picture creator in the known universe!" you say? Well then you're crazy. But he did give us this:

The movie had frakin Sir Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriguez AND...

BILLY ZANE AND HIS WIG...AND...

MEATLOAF AND HIS WIG...AND...REAL WHORES! (No really, Uwe said it was cheaper to hire actual Romanian prostitutes. AWESOME!)

So anyway, my point - Uwe Boll says and does some really dumb things. The latest is in response to an actual internet petition going around to stop Uwe Boll from making any more movies. Well Uwe Boll agreed to it if it got 1 million votes. 

It did. 

Fast.

So today he responded to it with this: (Warning: The following came from the mouth of Uwe Boll so be prepared to be confused and possibly offended, but I feel it is my duty to bring all the Uwe Boll news Fox and CNN is scared to present - also all errors are a direct quote from Mr. Boll)

"Hi, here's Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about that internet petition. There's a petition out, 'Stop Uwe Boll,' and I said like 1 million people on the petition, I stop actually making movies. I want that there's a petition out there, like a pro-Boll petition, and I expect a million votes pro-Boll. I hope somebody would set it up and you all start signing it, because look: I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business, or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies, you will see my real genius, you know? And if you go on May 23 and Postal, you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years -- what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am. I'm the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."

I'll keep you posted as more develops and as more huge actors lose their minds and appear in his films.

The following is a memorial in honor of the actors who have risked their careers working with Uwe Boll:

Clint Howard

Bif Naked

Christen Slater

Tara Reid

Stephen Dorf

Kristanna Loken

Michael Madsen

Meat Loaf

Billy Zane

Michelle Rodriguez

Sir Ben Kingsley

Jason Statham

Leelee Sobieski

John Rhys-Davies

Ron Perlman

Claire Forlani

Mathew Lillard

Ray Liotta

Burt Reynolds

Verne Troyer

Lance Henricksen

Danny Trejo

And with SIX movies in production, only further casualties can come...