Days of Darkness

One word. Okay, one acronym - WTF? Damn you Lionsgate! You can't make a movie, but you sure as hell can make cover art. Seriously, Days of Darkness has some of the best cover art I've seen. In fact, if I base this review off the cover art it gets 100 Hot Dogs. And we all know how awesome hot dogs are. But alas, a movie came with the cover art, and that movie was crap. I've always said it takes a bad movie to appreciate the really good ones. Well, after watching this I've even come to appreciate Barbie in Fairytopia. I would say my following comments contain spoilers but it would be really hard to spoil this movie for somebody. It asks us to set through 5 hours (I think that's how long it was) of made for DVD acting, handicam quality filming and 3rd grade drama quality make up. What does it give us in return? One bad boob shot, some crazy preacher dude, several penis/ball sack combos falling off and vagina monsters. Oh yeah, and some crazy zombie-turned alien-turned human/alien hybrid subplot. Fortunately, the writer/director (imagine-he's the same guy) wrapped the movie up masterfully with no loose ends. That's right folks! He used the good ole' Booze and Guns Cures Everything ending. Cheap bourbon can kill the zombie-alien master race?! I didn't see that coming. 

As stated earlier I give the DVD cover art 100 Hot Dogs. I give the DVD inside a Major Blow.