So, I was walking the wall at the good 'ol San Angelo Hastings 9608 "Your Entertainment Superstore" when I came across this eye-grabbing work of art:
How could anyone resist such an enticing box? It looks simply amazing doesn't it? A frakin' severed torso! A review from bloodydisgusting.com stating, "One of the best zombie films in decades." What is there not to like?
PLENTY.
First of all, Dimension EXTREME is now on my list with Lionsgate. Except this pile wasn't even watchable compared to Days of Darkness. Second, bloodydisgusting.com should be forced to exist only as a website dedicated to reviewing Barbie Mariposa for their grossly misleading quote. I did some research and found that their original review in it's entirety read: "One of the best zombie films in decades made for negative $45 and a dead pony and featuring the best mongoloids in the film industry."
Upon looking up the word mongoloid on Wikipedia, to make sure it meant what I though it meant, I came across this word/phrase: Craniofacial anthropometry.
And that's what I rate this crap: 1/2 a Craniofacial anthropometry.
I have never seen a movie have a frame rate issue. It could be excused I suppose, under certain circumstances, but I'm almost positive I wasn't watching this on a Sega CD so nevermind-I guess it can't.
I'm...so...angry...must...push...on...
So I watched this next:
That's right. She's a Japanese schoolgirl who fights crime WITH A YO-YO! A FRAKIN' YO-YO!
It's from the creator of Battle Royale!
It has a Japanese School girl kicking ass with a yo-yo!
A YO-YO!
This movie gets rated Hell Yeah!
"One of the best zombie films in decades and it doesn't even have zombies in it. But it does have a Japanese schoolgirl who kicks ass with a damn yo-yo!" ~ bloodandboobs.blogspot.com
Take that bloodydisgusting.com you commie bastard hippies!
It's from the creator of Battle Royale!
It has a Japanese School girl kicking ass with a yo-yo!
A YO-YO!
This movie gets rated Hell Yeah!
"One of the best zombie films in decades and it doesn't even have zombies in it. But it does have a Japanese schoolgirl who kicks ass with a damn yo-yo!" ~ bloodandboobs.blogspot.com
Take that bloodydisgusting.com you commie bastard hippies!
1 comment:
Hey Chey - it's Gretch. That has got to be the funniest movie review I have ever read -- you should seriously consider a career in that field -- move over Roger Ebert!!!!
Anyway, because of your esteemed website review -- Yoyo cop is on my list of the "must see" movies this year. A yo-yo wielding school girl crime fighter...ranks right up there with the Carrot-eating, british nanny assasin, Clive Owen in Shoot Em Up!!
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