W.W.B.D? or What would buddha do?
We started with The Nines:
What? A Ryan Reynold's film where he's not funny or Van Wilder? Yes, its true. And, the world hasn't stopped spinning. Neither has my head after this metaphysical tromp through three different versions of ol' Ryan. Seriously, my brain was raped while watching this movie, but in a good way. You know, if rape can be good. Buy this movie and watch it in front of your dumb friends to make you feel smarter. They'll be like, "Que?" and you'll be like, "Ah, Mr. Reynolds! Your poignant observations are so...poignant! Now, who wants Grey Poupon?"
I give this movie a Melt Your Mind Yo!
Next up was The Tripper.
If a hippie falls in the woods, do the trees really care?
Now I know you're thinking, "Hey, that's the crappy looking movie I saw at Target that was produced/directed by David Arquette and his wifey Courtney and stars Jason Mewes and other losers right?" Well, you forgot Pee-Wee Herman bitches!
Oh, and you may not have noticed this. Take a good look:
That's right! The killer is dressed as Frakin' Ronald Reagan!
He has a killer dog named Nancy!
He really, really hates Hippies!
He spouts Reaganisms and carved Just Say No into his pothead victims!
I give this movie 1 Bajillion Gorbachev's!
Unless, you're a tree-hugging hippie democrat...then I give it 1/2 a Nader.
Sunday brought us this:
Its from the dude that did Empire Records! Awesome right? WRONG!
Midget medieval battle re-enactors, devil worshipers and a re-animated slutty looking blond chick couldn't even save this.
I give it a Scott Speedman you're better as a damn Vampire/Werewolf thingie you waster of my time!
Saving the best for last...
Straight from Project Greenlight to your screen, this movie proves that Ben Affleck isn't worthless. No, I know what the poster looks like, but this isn't a lesbian monster movie-it's a genuinely funny B-Movie extravaganza. It meets the two important criteria...
Blood AND Boobs...
And while you wrap your mind around this picture get ready for this...
While searching for a Feast image I came across this poster for Hostel 2. It begs the question: Where are these promotional gems in America?
It's so Fetch!
2 comments:
my head is still reeling from the nines. You forgot to mention how awesome melissa mccarthy was in the movie.
I HAVE to see The Tripper....that sounds like my kind of movie....and in an election year too -- it's almost to good to be true!!! I need to upload my picture with ol' Ronnie at the Smithsonian we took last weekend. By the way, you are my new quote on my myspace page. Laters!
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