Ok, I really did attend the Pusan International Film Festival while in Korea. And by attend, I mean I walked by the information booth on my way to Pizza Hut to eat my Bulgogi and Kimchi Personal Pan Pizza.
But, I did frequent the bootleg DVD shops while I was there (which I don’t condone and ABSOLUTELY DID NOT buy about 25,000 won (or $.99) worth of DVDs.) Besides, they looked legit in their plastic baggies and black and white cover art.
Of the movies I didn’t buy I’ve watched two so far:
First off, Death Race!
There is nothing really to say. It has Jason Statham (voted sexiest man alive by my wife and several co-workers, not to mention the hardest working omniscient being in Hollywood.) And it’s based on Death Race 2000 which actually came out in like 197X(?)!
Based on my No Child Left Behind Rating System, Death Race and Death Race 2000 both receive a rating of 900,000 Hotdogs. Just short of the ultimate rating allowed by God.
Where Death Race features no plot and ample blood and guts, Death Race 2000 features Sly Stalone, Kill Bill and blood and boobs. Also, it left us with the little game where you get points for hitting old blind children on walkers with your car. Come on! You know you played it when you were 16!
Amazing.
Then there is The Happening.
M. Night Shamamamamamamamamamalyn is really losing his touch. I bet his next movie’s “twist” will consist of him coming out at the end of the movie and laughing at us for watching his crap.
And while I love my dear sweet Zooey Deschanel, her Prozac induced coma look didn’t really do anything for me.
The biggest disappointment for me was the much hyped R Rating. My daughter’s Dora DVDs have more violence in them when Dora beats down that damn fox. I forget what this movie is about, but I’m pretty sure it has to deal with some chick who lives in a pool and sees dead aliens. One day she escapes her pool only to discover that … M. Night Shamamamamammamamamamamlyn sucks.
It’s okay though. I’ll still be in line to watch his next movie.
This movie gets 2 Queen Latifa’s. And trust me – that’s more than enough for anybody.
2 comments:
Yay!!!! My most trusted source for movie info is back!! I could've told you The Happening sucked - everyone I know who saw it said they HATED it. So I quickly took it off my Netflix - I mean, I still have occasional bouts of laughter from The Village.
Crystal sent me this way cos we both have a love for movies.
Ahhh, bootleg movies. I have some very fond memories of NOT buying them :D
I enjoyed Death Race simply for all the blood and gore and car races. There's just something special about watching a man being decapitated by a rear vision mirror :D
16? My Dad's 50 and he still plays that game!
I can't really remember how I felt about The Happening, apart from being confused at the end (which usually happens when I watch an M. Night movie).
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