Enter Sukaban Deka and Sukaban Deka 2: Counter-Attack of the Kazama Sisters!
These things have been pumping out since the 80's and these movies encompass everything that was great about the 80's and silent yo-yo killers.
If you don't remember, the 80's was that awesome time that was just like the 90's - only ten years earlier. This movie took that awesomeness and combined it with a killer 80's J-pop soundtrack and all the things that made the decade great...like Magnum P.I. and the Iron Eagle movies. And Robocop 3. And New Coke. And communism.
You know Robocop had a series. I think it was called Robocop: The Series.
So anyhow, this chick reluctantly has to leave her wonderful pre-college/post-yo-yo ninja assassin life behind and rescue the poor children of HELL CASTLE.
Which is actually a school. (Japan's education system is a bitch.)
I won't give anything away (except maybe the middle and end) but she ends up fighting this dude WHO HAS A METAL HAND! Take that George Lucas!
Turns out he is really a cyborg that was reconstructed as PURE EVIL when he got blowed up good in an earlier movie that doesn't exist.
Hmmm...robocop much? Ahh...the 80's.
Anyhow, she defeats them with the most cunning tactic ever employed in any movie I've ever seen. Immediately after the big reveal that he is a CYBORG OF DOOM she kills him with a jump cut!
No really. The scene jumps from his very much alive face to her running from the exploding building he was just in.
Lazy editing you say? Nay! Ballsy as hell. I don't like to be spoon-fed the plot so this movie was perfect. It just omitted it.
Imagine how much better Star Wars would have been if Vader said, "Luke, I am your father!" and then the death star blew up.
Amazing.
I give this movie a ...
The End
(did you see what I just did? yep, I'm clever.)
If you're really good, maybe I'll tell you what the sequel was about when I review Gozu.
